Too much too hard

Often you wonder what good would it do?

Often you think nothing is going to change.

Then there are days when you are all charged up- ready to face the demons

And there are the ones when you just lie back and want to go back to the warm cocoon of comfort.

Where are you today or is it tonight that you are reading it?

What bottles up those thoughts, that voice.. Why are there draft after drafts waiting to be published?

Is it that you have grown up feel that your thoughts are not for everyone to know?

Or is it that you have grown up and you are now not as courageously carefree as you once were?

Don't grow old worrying about the problems.

Let the wrinkles come because you laughed too much and too hard

Haircut

There is something about a haircut.

With the locks; a lot of our baggages also get cut off when we get a haircut.

It's absolutely nothing extraordinary.

But when we do sit under the scissors, and close our eyes we give into the unknown.

We give control to someone else.

The chopping sound.

The sharp blades right next to your jugular vein.

One mistake and you are in trouble.

It is the moment of complete submission.

The fear of uncertainty, the prospect of a better outcome all come rushing from within us.

We challenge ourselves to find the courage within to fight the demons within.

We embrace a change.

The change emboldens us.

It reminds us of what we are capable of.

And we go back.

To face the demon lurking outside.

That boss who refuses to value us.

That code we have not been able to crack.

That decaying relationship we have not been able to come out of.

We feel lighter.

We, suddenly, can handle it all.

There is something about a haircut.

Fearless Girl

When the world was busy celebrating the Fearless Girl bronze statue right in front of the Bull at the Wall Street, she was busy facing her bull too.

The bull that had no business being polite or respectful.

The bull who called out that he gets to decide everything that happens.

A dictator by his conduct.

Trying to tell her that there's nothing personal but it's "strictly business" .

Initially, she was shocked.

She could not believe what just happened.

She thought she was in an environment, where the basic fabric of the community is made up of mutual respect and cooperation.

Honest yet polite communication.

But no.

There came one charging bull.

A bull she had not seen before.

Arrogant.

Disdainful.

Disrespectful.

For a moment she broke down.

Thoroughly shaken to the core.

Then she remembered that it was never going to be easy.

That she will not be the victim.

She reminded herself of the Fearless Girl - staring straight at The Bull on the Wall Street

And she decided to call a spade a spade.

She squared her shoulders.

She lift up her chin.

And.

She spoke up.

She ensured that she was heard.

She knew full well that there would be consequences.

But she was not afraid.

Not intimidated.

She would face all the consequences of her choice to escalate.

She owned it all up.

But come what may, she decided to not get bullied by the charging bull that she exposed.

She would stand her own ground and face the mad bull.

Because she knew she was right.

Because the Fearless Girl in her refused to cower down in front of the wrong.

Because the Fearless Girl was supposed to inspire many more like her.

Longings

The last she travelled was in July.

Her birthday trip with family to Udaipur, Rajasthan.

It's  been a very long while that she has not travelled.

Work and health has kept her off the roads.

But the longing is overwhelming now.

How she dwells on her previous trips.

While the whole world is busy making merry, she's waiting.

Her wait just never seems to get over.

Oh 2016, what beautiful things you have shown her.

But how cruelly you have made her a prisoner for the past few months.

Can't we just fast forward and move on to the future?

She muses but of course she knows that cannot be it.

So till the time, time travel isn't as convenient as booking an Uber, it's best to bide her time.

Patiently waiting for the better days to arrive.

Days she knows when she will travel again.

Restless

She felt very restless.

The recent few days have been all about knowing that some things in life do not work out.

Job

Relationship

Health

Plans

Yes, most certainly plans.

They are just not working out.

Life seems to be overwhelming.

Every minute is about what could have been.

When one feels this way then one loses  the calm of being.

The appreciation of the present comes to naught.

It's a strange feeling.

Anyhow, she's been thinking a lot.

Somehow the inactivity has led to hyper activity up in her mind.

She's not been a risk taker.

Studied what seemed to have been a good selection of discipline.

Took a job which worked out.

But she was restless even then.

Wanting to move out of her comfort zone.

Now that she is out there, way out of her comfort zone suddenly that sense of restlessness invades her mind.

She now has a perspective of what is more important to her.

What all she is missing out on.

The problem with having studied Economics is that you are always too conscious of the opportunity cost.

She knows that.

So what if some people are never meant to be peacefully present at one place?

She wishes she was the kind who is happy with exactly what she has and is making the most of that.

But deep down she is just the opposite.

Chasing after something that she doesn't quite have.

It's stupidity.

But it's her reality.

May be she will change.

May be she will not.

May be some souls are never meant to rest.

And accepting that she embraced her restlessness.

That's who she is.

Far from perfect but at least true to herself.

If you knew me

Your eyes would see me differently.

Your hands would tremble to touch me

Your mouth would stutter out words that won't make a lot of sense

If you knew me.

You might have opened yourself up to me

You might have held my hand and professed your love

You  might have realised that I love you too

If you knew me.

But you don't.

And deep down,
I'm glad you don't,

The Beatles on my playlist

So, I watched the Minions 3D this week.

And.

I loved the movie.

I kept wondering what, really struck me, about the movie

Its story line is far from gripping.

Cuteness factor, yes, that was there.

But something more to it.

Then it dawned upon me.

It was the retro feel to it.

It was very pleasantly and authentically 60s.

From the Nixon government to the black and white CRT television with antenna to the Abbey Road; every reference bespoke of the romantic 60s.

And then I knew it.

It was the background score!

Legendary pieces of the 60s.

There was a general air of carefree music so synonymous with the 60s.

It wasn't a conscious effort to watch out for the music to keep ringing in, rather it kind of acted as the chicken soup for my ears and I was hooked to the movie.

A sense of familiarity took over my senses.

It was however, the eternally optimistic, ever hopeful melodious The Beatles, who made my evening!

The end credits rolled in with Got to get you into my life.

My evening was complete.

As was my Saturday night playlist ;)

Oh how I love them.

I muse.

The romance.

Is it the retro hangover?

I decide not to intellectualise about it but just thank the Minions for bringing them back to my playlist.

Pushing the Rahmans, the Coldplays further down.

The Beatles win back their position.

"All my loving I will send to you"- Paul McCartney continues to reassure me.

Sweet.

So what is it  about the Beatles that has such an eternal appeal?

It's been more than half a century, but their music continues to play.

Melody, definitely.

I reflect some more.

I guess, simplicity will always hold its appeal.

"I know this love of mine, will never die"

Honest. Hopeful.

Human qualities that hold eternal appeal.

As we get entangled and entrapped in the maze of words unspoken, thoughts unshared, voices unheard, these will probably become more relevant.

And Beatles will continue to top the playlist of many more people like me, who despite belonging to different era, are still charmed by their melodious hopeful compositions.

Here's to the more easy going, uncomplicated, simple and hopeful love.

"Love is all you need"

Because, it's The Beatles on my playlist