Saturday, September 3, 2016

Restless

She felt very restless.

The recent few days have been all about knowing that some things in life do not work out.

Job

Relationship

Health

Plans

Yes, most certainly plans.

They are just not working out.

Life seems to be overwhelming.

Every minute is about what could have been.

When one feels this way then one loses  the calm of being.

The appreciation of the present comes to naught.

It's a strange feeling.

Anyhow, she's been thinking a lot.

Somehow the inactivity has led to hyper activity up in her mind.

She's not been a risk taker.

Studied what seemed to have been a good selection of discipline.

Took a job which worked out.

But she was restless even then.

Wanting to move out of her comfort zone.

Now that she is out there, way out of her comfort zone suddenly that sense of restlessness invades her mind.

She now has a perspective of what is more important to her.

What all she is missing out on.

The problem with having studied Economics is that you are always too conscious of the opportunity cost.

She knows that.

So what if some people are never meant to be peacefully present at one place?

She wishes she was the kind who is happy with exactly what she has and is making the most of that.

But deep down she is just the opposite.

Chasing after something that she doesn't quite have.

It's stupidity.

But it's her reality.

May be she will change.

May be she will not.

May be some souls are never meant to rest.

And accepting that she embraced her restlessness.

That's who she is.

Far from perfect but at least true to herself.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

If you knew me

Your eyes would see me differently.

Your hands would tremble to touch me

Your mouth would stutter out words that won't make a lot of sense

If you knew me.

You might have opened yourself up to me

You might have held my hand and professed your love

You  might have realised that I love you too

If you knew me.

But you don't.

And deep down,
I'm glad you don't,