Longings

The last she travelled was in July.

Her birthday trip with family to Udaipur, Rajasthan.

It's  been a very long while that she has not travelled.

Work and health has kept her off the roads.

But the longing is overwhelming now.

How she dwells on her previous trips.

While the whole world is busy making merry, she's waiting.

Her wait just never seems to get over.

Oh 2016, what beautiful things you have shown her.

But how cruelly you have made her a prisoner for the past few months.

Can't we just fast forward and move on to the future?

She muses but of course she knows that cannot be it.

So till the time, time travel isn't as convenient as booking an Uber, it's best to bide her time.

Patiently waiting for the better days to arrive.

Days she knows when she will travel again.

Restless

She felt very restless.

The recent few days have been all about knowing that some things in life do not work out.

Job

Relationship

Health

Plans

Yes, most certainly plans.

They are just not working out.

Life seems to be overwhelming.

Every minute is about what could have been.

When one feels this way then one loses  the calm of being.

The appreciation of the present comes to naught.

It's a strange feeling.

Anyhow, she's been thinking a lot.

Somehow the inactivity has led to hyper activity up in her mind.

She's not been a risk taker.

Studied what seemed to have been a good selection of discipline.

Took a job which worked out.

But she was restless even then.

Wanting to move out of her comfort zone.

Now that she is out there, way out of her comfort zone suddenly that sense of restlessness invades her mind.

She now has a perspective of what is more important to her.

What all she is missing out on.

The problem with having studied Economics is that you are always too conscious of the opportunity cost.

She knows that.

So what if some people are never meant to be peacefully present at one place?

She wishes she was the kind who is happy with exactly what she has and is making the most of that.

But deep down she is just the opposite.

Chasing after something that she doesn't quite have.

It's stupidity.

But it's her reality.

May be she will change.

May be she will not.

May be some souls are never meant to rest.

And accepting that she embraced her restlessness.

That's who she is.

Far from perfect but at least true to herself.

If you knew me

Your eyes would see me differently.

Your hands would tremble to touch me

Your mouth would stutter out words that won't make a lot of sense

If you knew me.

You might have opened yourself up to me

You might have held my hand and professed your love

You  might have realised that I love you too

If you knew me.

But you don't.

And deep down,
I'm glad you don't,

The Beatles on my playlist

So, I watched the Minions 3D this week.

And.

I loved the movie.

I kept wondering what, really struck me, about the movie

Its story line is far from gripping.

Cuteness factor, yes, that was there.

But something more to it.

Then it dawned upon me.

It was the retro feel to it.

It was very pleasantly and authentically 60s.

From the Nixon government to the black and white CRT television with antenna to the Abbey Road; every reference bespoke of the romantic 60s.

And then I knew it.

It was the background score!

Legendary pieces of the 60s.

There was a general air of carefree music so synonymous with the 60s.

It wasn't a conscious effort to watch out for the music to keep ringing in, rather it kind of acted as the chicken soup for my ears and I was hooked to the movie.

A sense of familiarity took over my senses.

It was however, the eternally optimistic, ever hopeful melodious The Beatles, who made my evening!

The end credits rolled in with Got to get you into my life.

My evening was complete.

As was my Saturday night playlist ;)

Oh how I love them.

I muse.

The romance.

Is it the retro hangover?

I decide not to intellectualise about it but just thank the Minions for bringing them back to my playlist.

Pushing the Rahmans, the Coldplays further down.

The Beatles win back their position.

"All my loving I will send to you"- Paul McCartney continues to reassure me.

Sweet.

So what is it  about the Beatles that has such an eternal appeal?

It's been more than half a century, but their music continues to play.

Melody, definitely.

I reflect some more.

I guess, simplicity will always hold its appeal.

"I know this love of mine, will never die"

Honest. Hopeful.

Human qualities that hold eternal appeal.

As we get entangled and entrapped in the maze of words unspoken, thoughts unshared, voices unheard, these will probably become more relevant.

And Beatles will continue to top the playlist of many more people like me, who despite belonging to different era, are still charmed by their melodious hopeful compositions.

Here's to the more easy going, uncomplicated, simple and hopeful love.

"Love is all you need"

Because, it's The Beatles on my playlist

Moving

She can relive that moment.

Repeating in her head all the words that he said.

Her mind wanders off to their first dinner together at the north-east restaurant.

Very unlikely a place for a date, really.

It wasn't really a date, to be very honest. She tells herself.

She doesn't even remember the name of the place anymore.

It was right across her hostel.

He was teaching her how to ride a cycle that evening.

And she fell.

Literally.

That evening spilled on to their first dinner together.

Sharing of meal can ignite so many feelings.

They had good laughs together.

Oh well, smiles too.

"Are you even listening to me??"

She had come back.

She realised as time flew them by distance between their hearts increased.

To the extent that she couldn't listen to what he was saying then but remembered what he'd said 2 years back.

She drowned his voice out again.

Well, no point in romanticising a heart break.

Wait, whose heart really broke?

It's hard to tell.

The landlord's definitely. May be the maid's too.

These guys will have to bear the difficulty until the next tenants move in.

But like any other heart break, even theirs are going to be short lived.

She put the last cellotape on the last carton.

Staring at the barren wardrobe she as she decidedly closed it for the last time, many other doors also shut forever.

Tomorrow at 6 the movers will arrive.

She must get some sleep.

Kheerganga: A Holy Dip

This is a sequel.

A sequel to where I had left off as I had taken off from the city.

The Humbling Himalayas.

This was my first visit to the mountains during the monsoon.

"Summer is the ideal season."

"This can be dangerous."

"You will get stuck in the landslides."

Parents were pretty paranoid.

But so was I. To run away.

It was a compulsion to forsake the big city life. Albeit, for only a few days.

It was a necessity.

As I have mentioned earlier also, life has been pretty kind to me. Not too rushed, in the name of career or otherwise. I get time to mull over; chew over, both food and thought. I get the much sought after "me"-time.

But even then I was restless. Last I had gone out of the capital was in March this year for a day trip to Agra.

Hardly counts as taking off from the city life, but even that was 6 months back!

And hence when my long standing dear friend proposed a mountain getaway in the month of August, I readily agreed to venture into the laps of the rain washed Himalayas, despite being perpetually broke.

We were an odd group of people.

5 in number.

Some known. Some unknown. Some semi-known.

I was the outsider in the group.

I didn't mind.

Stringlessness was the order of the day, or rather the trip, for me.

I had read a travel quote on the internet that said, "To travel is to take a journey into yourself"

I exactly had that plans.

As we set off on our journey, we were high on energy, even after a long work day.

Bus from Kashmere Gate to Manali and we are to get down some 2 hours before Manali at a place named Bhuntar.

We are to reach Bhuntar in about 12 hours, that is at 10am IST the next day, August 14.

August.

Monsoon.

Heavy rainfall.

Landslide.

Broken bridge near Mandi.

We took exactly 24 hours to reach Bhuntar, that is, at 10pm IST, August 14.

This was a crazy bus journey.

You would expect us to have gone nuts.

However, this journey was a revelation.

Of the pristine greenery of the Himalayas.

If you have been to the mountains in the monsoon, you would know that everything looks so young and alive that you wonder if you too are growing young with the mountains or not.

The first peek. The 24 hour long journey was all about anticipating the eternal youth of the youngest fold mountains of the world.

The next morning was misty and moist.

Independence day of India. Aug 15.

We took off from Bhuntar in a taxi to Barshaini.

We started our 13km long trek quite late in the day. It was almost 3pm.

The trek was long.

Difficult.

And.

Solitary.

Yes, solitude was necessary.

So that you don't fall??

No.

So that you get to meet you.

It was well after dark that we reached Kheerganga.

But the uphill journey was the most difficult journey I have ever made.

Meeting self is the most difficult meeting indeed.

The dark forest. The wet soil. The damp air.

The body was exhausted.

Yet the mind liberated.

The soul reborn,

The travel quote had come true for me, already.

The next day we went for the Holy Dip in the Hot Spring.

It was my first hot spring experience.

Something I hope to remember for a long time to come.

Post lunch we began our downward climb.

It was difficult.

I met my latent fear.

The fear of falling.

It was hard.

I bought wrong sized trekking shoes, the downward climb killed my two feet.

I met my strength.

Endurance.

It was lonesome.

I rediscovered my friend.

The long standing friendship I share with him became all the more strong because even in that difficulty and pain, my friend never left my side, even though I was slowing him down.

Despite all our efforts we couldn't complete our return trek to Barshaini on that very day,

Rains.

Dark heavy clouds insisted that we stop our climb with still an hour's trek left to go,

We stopped at a very small village in the Kullu Distt of Himachal Pradesh.

Nakthan,

What a quaint little village that was.

What a damp cold evening it was.

We stayed the night in a room for which we paid on INR 200.

5 people. INR 200 for 1 night.

It was my first such stay.

I spent the evening at the humble eating joint. listening to songs and enjoying the rains.

I am not a loner. I thought.

But while my other travel mates were busy catching up on fun and games I was busy catching up with self.

I am not a loner; I thought.

The cool damp evening eventually gave way to a very windy cold night,

The wind blew away the clouds.

The sky managed to clear up.

Have you ever seen the core of our galaxy?

It truly is a Milky Way; very aptly named,

Whoever in Delhi can imagine the number of stars that the smog hides?

It was a revelation.

A view, I hope, I will always remember.

My first meeting with the Milky Way.

I couldn't capture it on my camera.

The next day morning, Sunday 17th I was up early,

We were to take our bus from Bhuntar again.

We traced our way back to Barshaini and then to Kasol and eventually to Bhuntar.

Return journeys are always disheartening,

We were tired, the bus was delayed and the we made our journey back to the capital with a heavy heart.

But our souls were reborn.

Just as at Barshaini the Tosh found the Parvati, on this journey that 5 very different people took, all of us found something that would stand the test of time.

Some found new love.

Some found a renewed sense of purpose.

I found myself.

I met my fears and discovered my strength.

And rediscovered my friend.

As I proudly carry around my scarred toe-nails even 4 months after the trip, I am happy.

All in all.

This was a trip that  I can again take and not regret

because this was a trip that I will cherish always.

Celebrating Independence

This year Independence Day is on a Friday.

Good news for the working class like self.

Much tired of the urban ways of life, self needs fresh air.

Desperation is a strong (stupid?) driving force.

And it drove self to manager with a long list of leave application.

God bless the good man !

And hence self is on the way to the Himalayas.

The epitome of footlooseness, baggagelessness and  stringlessness.

Independence.

No, this Independence Day, self will not celebrate the leaving of the Brits. 
This Independence Day, self will celebrate Independence in its purest form in the lap of the humbling Himalayas.

Au revoir!